Book report: Saturnin by Zdeněk Jirotka
I was looking for something light to read before going to bed, and that's when I stumbled upon Saturnin.
I watched the film version (sadly available only in Czech) with my dad during Christmas break and I was reminded
how incredibly based Saturnin is.
Truth to be told, this was not the first time I read this book. It's one of the 20 books I had to read before
my highschool finals. But why should you care about obscure Czech book? Well first of all, you can read it
yourself here. Second of all I feel the need to talk about it given the
context of how and when the book was written and compare that to the current events. This book was written in
1940 by Zdeněk Jirotka. By that time, WWII was in full swing in this part of the world. Inspired by Sir Pelham
Grenville Wodehouse and his character Jeeves, Jirotka wanted to write a lighthearted comedy for people to take
their minds off the things going on around them. In similar fashion, I was looking for light and fun book to
distract myself from things going around me and to get back to the habit of reading.
The book is not
really a good one if you're looking for a long, cohensive story. It's a collection of cleverly joined short
stories, around which the story of Jiří and Saturnin is built. The short stories themselves are often not really
related to the main story, which is something I only realized on my second read through. It's still a fun read,
and from what I saw, the English translation is excellent.
Note: While I call the main protagonist Jiří Oulický, his name is not explicitly stated in the book. The name
comes from film/theatrical adaptation.
Story
The story follows Jiří Oulický, a proper gentleman from Prague, and his butler Saturnin. Jiří leads a
peaceful, yet somewhat boring life. That's where Saturnin comes in. He turns the status quo upside down and
with that brings major changes to Jiří's life. From moving to houseboat through spreading rumors about Jiří being
a brave tamer of wild animals to finding creative ways to get rid of unwanted guests, Saturnin does it all.
He [Saturnin] asked that, in the event of his failing to return, I would remember that he died in my
service. Should the worst happen, he required me to seek out any attractive girl whom he might have married.
I was to take care of her as if she were his widow.
While Jiří is not exactly welcoming of the sudden changes and (mis)adventures
he finds himself in, that changes once a girl he likes starts doubting a story about him fighting sharks.
That's when he starts leaning into the "adventurous" side of himself.
...you can imagine how you would find it if the most beautiful mouth you have ever seen should curve
into a disbelieving smirk and say: “You’ve been with a shark?” It is certainly understandable that
such situations sometimes led me to decisions reached in the hope that one day I would be able to say: “Oh
yes, Miss Barbara, I’ve been with the shark and I’ve seen the lion. In fact there have been feats of
derring-do the world over.”
Skipping a bit, following a series of coincidences, Jiří ends up on holiday with his rich albeit somewhat
childish grandfather, their friend, sarcastic Doctor Witherspoon, Jiří's sleazy aunt Catherine with her son
Bertie, Jiří's crush, Ms. Barbara, and of course, Saturnin the butler.
The holiday is where the most of the book takes place. Major plot points include annoying aunt Catherine trying
to get on grandpa's good side so she can inherit his fortune, and Jiří fighting with Berine for attention of
Ms. Barbara. All that while freak accidents (more ofthen that not caused by Saturnin) keep happening to our
cast of oddball characters.
As we approached the river Miss Barbara pointed out that as far as she could see water was already
streaming over the bridge, although the bridge itself was standing firm. She eased off the accelerator a
little and asked: “What do you think? Shall we go for it?” Such a suggestion was utter madness. The moment
brought to mind the way her beautiful mouth once shaped itself into a smirk when she asked me: “You’ve been
with a shark?” My response was firm. “Let’s go for it!” Saturnin threw me an approving glance and nodded in
appreciation. Barbara nodded too as she grabbed the steering wheel and stamped the accelerator into the ground.
Some of the things that happened on holiday include a storm, that lead to a breaking of only bridge leading to
grandfathers house, electricity going out, somebody locking Bertie in his room, grandpa injuring Jiří after
practicing Jiu-Jitsu after Saturnin demonstrated how it's done, Spanish speaking invaders, shoot-out in the
dark, and a trip around the peninsula after our cast run out of food.
Saturnin is a most ingenious fellow. I have never discovered to this day how he arranged in such a
miraculous manner for Bertie’s deckchair to collapse, more often than not in the middle of a story, leaving
the arrogant fop buried in the ruins. The first time it happened everyone had the fright of their lives, and
Saturnin obligingly brought Bertie another deckchair. After about ten minutes this one disintegrated too and
Bertie ended up on the ground once again. It was all too much for Grandpa. “What are you doing now, you
stupid boy? Don’t you know how to sit properly?” he yelled. Bertie went off feeling insulted.
The way Saturnin helps Jiří is crazy. Like he keeps his professional demeanor, yet he is not afraid to cross
some lines in the name of keeping the dignity of his master (or in the name of fun).
...besides which he was convinced that Bertie would not find any worms and would be only too pleased not
to mention the matter. He explained that his main reason for sending Bertie away was Miss Barbara. Miss
Basnett was minded to exploit the fact that it had finally stopped raining outside and wanted to take a
look at the river. Master Bertie was doggedly determined to accompany her, and had fitted himself out in
exotically stylish gear to this end. Saturnin explained that in all likelihood being ordered to fill a
rusty tin with worms would rather thwart Bertie’s original plans and Miss Barbara would certainly breathe
a sigh of relief.
Other thoughts
What I really appreciated this time was just how beautiful was the process of Jiří and Barbara falling in love.
Yeah, yeah, I know, sappy, yeah I'm cringe, cheesy as fuck, whatever. There is just not enough comfy romance in
"classic" literature. I've already shared several quotes, but here are some more.
Then Miss Barbara came over to my armchair and with a hint of conspiracy asked me for a cigarette. My God!
How the simplest of things can set a man’s pulse racing!
She said that the view must be different from her vantage point and tried to look from where my head was.
I discovered that to point something out in this way to a young lady whose presence sets your pulse racing was
a distinctly pleasant experience, and I was actually sorry when she spotted the roe.
She asked me whether I could help her clean up around the fire and prepare a new woodpile. Although she
could have left me to look after one fire and herself taken care of the other, she went to the same one as I
did and got in the way in a charming manner. I regretted the fact that there weren’t ten of these fires,
fifty, a thousand.
Dear, sweet Barbara! She had broken off the heads of all the matches, giving Grandpa and Dr. Witherspoon
no chance. We were bound to be drawn together whichever matches the other two had picked. So Miss Barbara had
wanted to be my mushrooming partner. Ye Gods! Ye Humans! Is life not beautiful!
Conclusion
Overall I enjoyed this book, more so on my second read. While I was having fun reading for the first time,
I *had* to read it. Now I wanted to read it. That makes for an unexpected difference. Anyway, as I said
before, I very much enjoyed the romance part of the book. Like, Jiří Oulický literally me.
Go read it now. don't worry, it's free